


Only Fools

by anastaxia99



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Arguing, Best Friends, Biphobia, Comfort, Coming Out, Crying, Cute, Drama AU, Eventual Fluff, F/F, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, High School, High School AU, Homophobia, Kissing, Making Out, Pining, Self Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, cute couple, dianetti, holt is the director!, i love my kids, im sorry it gets sad, peraltiago is background, play au, slight angst, small biphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2019-10-24 20:32:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17711087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastaxia99/pseuds/anastaxia99
Summary: Rosa has a pretty normal high school life. She's got a great friend group, boring homework, an annoying family, and play rehearsals. Oh, and she has an enormous crush on her beautiful, auburn haired best friend, Gina Linetti.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> hi kiddos!!! this is my first ever fanfic, and i'm kinda nervous!!! honestly, it was only a matter of time until i wrote a dianetti work though, i never stop complaining about the lack of dianetti works, as my friends can confirm. idk what else i'm supposed to say, other than i hope you enjoy??? please leave me constructive criticism in the comments!!!

**i**

 

**11:38 AM, Brooklyn Academy High cafeteria**

 

Rosa sat at their lunch table, eating her sandwich. By  _ their _ , she meant her the table that had belonged to her and her best friends since ninth grade. Her best friends being Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Charles Boyle, and of course, the one and only Gina Linetti. They were all so amazingly different yet fit together so well. Jake was the dark haired, brown eyed, absolutely hilarious (and absolutely childish at times) boy sitting at the top right of their table. He was a total idiot a lot of the time, but was amazing at solving puzzles and problems. He also had an intense love for Die Hard and drinks that were the colour blue. Amy, on the other hand, was the beautiful, smart and organized Cuban girl sitting across from Rosa. She was so put together all the time, but was also really goofy and cute when not under watch from everyone else. Her favourite things in the world were probably binders, essays, and her boyfriend, Jake. Charles was the brown haired, clumsy, goofball who sat beside Amy. He was a total dork who was far too obsessed with his friends relationships, but was truly the most kind and caring person any of them have met in their entire life. He loved to cook too, and often brought some weird food that he made the night before for all of them to try (which often ended terribly, but they were thankful for the effort). And then there was Gina Linetti. Gina was gorgeous, with auburn hair and blue eyes, and she was a lot shorter than Rosa. She was silly and sarcastic and treated herself like she was the queen of the world (which she basically was in Rosa’s eyes). She also cared about her friends more than anything in the world (other than maybe her phone).

 

The group hadn’t always been as close as they were now though. Jake and Gina had been best friends probably since birth, because their families were super close. Charles and Jake became best friends in the third grade after being assigned desk partners and realizing they were an  _ amazing _ team when it came to cheating on spelling tests. Amy had come along in seventh grade, when she moved to their area and became part of their class. Rosa joined the gang in the middle of grade eight, when she was new at their school and Gina was the only one who would actually come up to her despite her scary exterior. From then on, they had been a power team, and probably one of the closest, drama free friend groups in their entire high school. They supported each other through everything (even in tenth grade when Amy made the idiotic decision to date Teddy Wells, and to get over his enormous crush on her, Jake dated Sophia  Perez. They realized it was stupid and started dating within a few months). It was nice to just have people who genuinely loved Rosa for who she was, even if that person was an angry, bisexual, all-black-wearing, eighteen year old girl. 

 

It was in that moment when Rosa realized she had been spacing out for the past 45 seconds.

 

“Hello? I know my girlfriend is hot but there’s no need to stare,” Jake teases while throwing a french fry at Rosa’s head. She rolls her eyes and throws it back.

 

“Yeah, Rosa, I’m totally the one you should be staring at right now, I mean, look at me!” Gina joins in. At this one, unlike Jake’s teasing, Rosa feels her face heat up. If she had been consciously staring, it  _ definitely _ would have been at Gina. Of course, she would never say that out loud. Nobody could ever know about her top-secret crush on the auburn haired dancer. Except unknown to Rosa, literally everyone knew except for Gina. Jake and Amy had placed a $20 bet on whether Rosa would ask her out by Valentine’s day. Jake thought Rosa totally would, because she’s been obsessed with her since like, eighth grade, but Amy thought that if Rosa still hasn’t made a move after four and a half years, what would all of a sudden compel her to do so? Charles would always ‘accidentally’ make situations where the two of them ended up alone, but instead of ending up with a confession of undying love and then prompt making out like everyone hoped it would, it would always end with Rosa stumbling over her words when Gina did or said something cute (re: every five seconds). Rosa thought she was an amazing secret keeper, but it turns out Gina was just oblivious to the rest of the world when she wasn’t being mentioned.

 

Before Rosa could answer, the bell rang. Everyone quickly got up to race to their next class. “Want me to walk you to class?” asked Gina.

 

“Gina, it’s English. We’re in the same class. We literally sit beside each other.” Rosa said.

 

“Fine! I guess I’ll walk alone!” Gina said dramatically. Rosa smiled a huge, dorky smile that she didn’t do for anyone other than Gina.

 

“I never said I wanted  _ that _ ,” Rosa laughed. Gina turned back to her, smiling her cute smile that Rosa saw in her dreams every night without fail.

 

“Proven again, Gina Linetti is absolutely irresistible to the ladies!”, Gina said far too loudly.

 

She isn’t  _ wrong _ , though, Rosa thought.

 

**2:34 PM, Brooklyn Academy High**

 

The rest of the school day goes by quite uneventfully. Everyone is anticipating the end of the day, when casting in the spring musical comes out. Their schools musicals are written every year by an ex-student at their school, Terry Jeffords. They’ve always been love stories, and Jake and Amy have respectively played the lead male and female every year without fail. This year though, that won’t happen. Mainly because it’s a musical about homophobia, and if Jake and Amy were playing lesbians, the school would have a lot of issues to figure out. However, there is a specific someone who also auditioned for the girlfriend of the character Rosa auditioned for. Rosa auditioned to play Lola, the female lead, a lesbian who has recently come out at her Catholic school and is being threatened with expulsion, and Gina auditioned for the role of June, Lola’s girlfriend who is yet to come out. However, Rosa doesn’t think she could ever get the part. Gina will almost 100% get June, but there was a bunch of girls going for the part of Lola. Not as many as there usually are for the lead role (most girls weren’t up to playing a lesbian), but still a fair amount. 

 

When 2:40 finally comes, any drama kid races to the auditorium. They all sit in chairs, Rosa snagging a spot between Gina, who has decided to livestream the casting, and Amy, who is holding Jake’s hand tightly. They’re all on the edge of their seats waiting for Director Holt to come in and read the casting list. When he finally walks in at 2:46, the room goes silent.

 

“I know you’ve all been waiting for a week and a half since auditions, and I apologize for leaving you all to wonder. However, I now have the casting list, and I’m sure you would all like to hear it.” he says. Yes! Of course they want to hear it!

 

“I will be reading out the main cast. As you all know, any person not given a main role will be given a role as an extra,” Holt says. Rosa prays that isn’t referring to her. She’s never been an extra, but from the sounds of it, it absolutely sucks. “First off, playing the role of Madam Wringer, the headmistress, will be Sophia Perez,” he reads. First announcement is quite awkward, as this means Jake will most likely have his ex-girlfriend as his co-star.

 

“The role of Lola’s brother, Henry, will be played by Charles Boyle,”. Yay for Charles! It’s no surprise he got the role, he’s a great actor and is good for both dramatic scenes and comedic relief.

 

“The role of Lola’s father will be played by none other than Jake Peralta,” reads Director Holt. No surprise there, Jake got the leading male.

 

“Lola’s mother will be played by Amy Santiago.”. Amy and Jake look at eachother with heart eyes. Of course they’re playing a married couple.

 

“Finally, we’re onto our two leading lady roles. June, the girlfriend will be played by Gina Linetti, and finally, Lola will be played by Rosa Diaz.”

 

Gina turns to Rosa with her phone. “Babe, we’re girlfriends!”. Rosa freezes for a second before smiling hugely. She tries not to make it obvious the effect that the little pet name has on her, and if Gina notices, she doesn’t say anything.

 

Rosa is also in shock because she got the female lead! She’s never been the lead, as Amy has always scored the role. Gina ends her livestream with a “Bye, losers!”, and turns back to the group. “I say this calls for celebratory pizza!”. The group cheers, and all feel even happier knowing that they get to go to Sal’s pizza afterwords.

 

“Our first read through will be tomorrow after school, and we will be rehearsing daily. I expect us to start blocking soon, so you all must practice as often as you can,” Holt says. “I expect no nonsense with this production. You are all experienced actors, and you all know how a play works. Read over your scripts tonight!”. Once they all have their scripts, everyone heads out the door.

 

“Rosa, how does it feel to get the privilege of playing the love interest of someone as wonderful as me? I’ve never had the experience, please describe in detail.” Gina says, smirking. Rosa shakes her head and smiles.

 

“It’s wonderful Gina, but I think with the amount of love you have for yourself you wouldn’t have to ask,” Rosa retorts.

 

“It’s called confidence, bitch! Look it up!” Gina jokes, hitting Rosa lightly on the back of her head.

 

“Ooh, two lovebirds having a quarrel! Who will win, or will it end in a kiss?” Charles says. The two of them roll their eyes.

 

“We aren’t lovebirds, Charles! We aren’t even likebirds! We’re just… friendbirds! That’s right, they’re a real thing! You’ve just never heard of them!” Rosa defends.

 

“Yeah, Charles! Also, Rosa, I truly care about you but if you call me a bird again, I will not hesitate to throw you in front of a bus. I’m  _ clearly _ a wolf.” Gina says. Rosa rolls her eyes.

 

“Okay, stop flirting, I want pizza!” Jake complains. Amy lets out a breathy laugh while shaking her head.

 

“We aren’t flirting!”, Gina and Rosa say in unison.

 

**8:19 PM, Rosa Diaz’s Bedroom**

 

Rosa is looking over her script for the first time, while lying in bed. She’s changed out of her black jeans, navy blue t-shirt, and leather jacket, and now wears flannel pyjama pants and a black tank top. She’s about halfway through the script, when she sees a line that catches her eye.

 

_ LOLA AND JUNE SHARE A SOFT, LOVING KISS _

 

Rosa rereads the line about five times to see if it’s right. Lo and behold, the line remains the same. Rosa feels giddy with nerves. She’s going to  _ kiss _ Gina Linetti. For a play, but that means nothing to her. She doesn’t care what she’s doing it for, as long as she is kissing that girl. Rosa giggles- actually  _ giggles _ \- at the thought. Just then, she gets a text from Jake.

 

**Jake:** haha looks like sum1’s wishes are coming tru ;)

 

**Rosa:** shut up, jake. i’m totally not into her that way.

 

(Rosa is definitely into her that way)

 

**Jake:** okayyyy sure. explain y u look at her the way u do.

 

**Rosa:** how do i look at her?

 

**Jake:** like ur in loveeeee

 

**Rosa:** ugh, i am NOT in love. she’s just hot, ok??? i'm not one of those lovey-dovey freaks like u and amy

 

**Jake:** that’s what i said before i dated amy but ok

 

**Rosa:** no, u literally said ‘i would marry amy santiago without hesitation, whether that’s at a huge mansion or in an actual dumpster’

 

**Jake:** welp, u got me there.

 

Rosa rolls her eyes and shuts her phone off. She doesn’t have to tell people about her personal feelings. Emotions were gross, in her opinion. Unless they were emotions about Gina, which were absolutely amazing. However, those were secret feelings. Nobody was supposed to know about that.

 

That night, Rosa has some very good dreams about Gina Linetti.


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey nerds, here's chapter two! warning, there is slight biphobia in this scene, but it's nothing big (just a few catty comments). love y'all, hope u like it!

**ii**

  
  
  


**7:00 AM, Rosa Diaz’s bedroom**

 

Rosa awoke with a start when her phone alarm started going off. She was always grumbly and tired, but  _ especially _ in the mornings.

 

Until she remembers.

 

Brooklyn Academy High runs on a day one, day two system, instead of a semester system. On day one, they have four classes, and on day two, they have their other four classes. And today is day one, which means she has dance first period. With Gina as her partner. If seeing Gina is dancewear wasn’t enough to make Rosa want to get out of bed, the fact that they’re currently working on ballroom dancing, and Gina is Rosa’s partner, makes her ready to run all the way to school. Rosa stands up, stretches, and goes to pick out her clothes.

 

Once she’s fully dressed for the day, in a red t-shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket, along with her basic makeup and hair (nude eyeshadow, black eyeliner, a nude lipstick, and leaving her naturally curly hair as it is), she’s ready to go. She packs her dance clothes, which is a pair of black capri leggings and a black tank top, and heads out the door.

 

She lives in a second floor apartment on Sixth street, across the street from Comet Mini Mart, which is owned by the family of her older sister, Lillian’s, boyfriend, Lucas. They were super nice and always gave discounts to the Diaz family. Rosa decided to pop in before school.

 

“Oh look, it’s Rosa! Why are you in so early?”, says Amira, Lucas’s mother.

 

“No reason, just wanted to stop by before school,” Rosa responded. She wasn’t a fan of small talk, so she tried to make it as quick as possible. She wasn’t sure what drew her in to going to the store before school, but she realized she couldn’t leave without buying anything. That’s when she saw a box of Zebra Cakes, which she knew were Gina’s favourite. Rosa smiled a little at the thought of Gina, and at the memory that she had attached to this little fact. The two of them had been shopping for a cast party that they were throwing after their grade 10 play, and Gina had somehow convinced Rosa to drive her around in the cart - ‘I’m just so  _ tired _ , Rosa. Be a good friend and push me around!’ is what she had said. Rosa didn’t even try to fight back. While they were shopping for snacks, Gina’s face had lit up when she saw the last box of Zebra Cakes. ‘Rosie, we just  _ have  _ to buy them! They’re the best snack in the history of like, ever!’. They ended up eating half of the box together on the drive back to Gina’s place, but that was okay. Rosa picked up the box and placed it on the counter.

 

“How much for these?”, she asked Amira.

 

“$3.00, but for you, $1.50. You are family,” Amira says to Rosa. Rosa smiles and hands her the money. Amira was genuinely so kind, but Rosa was too antisocial at these hours to talk to her.

 

When she reached the school, she headed straight to the auditorium change room. A couple of girls were in there, none of whom Rosa had bothered to learn the names of, but no Gina. Not a big deal though, Gina was almost always late. Rosa just grabbed her dance clothes and tried to change as quickly as possible. She just stood in her corner, minding her own business, until she heard the whispers.

 

Rosa had learned to deal with these since coming out as bisexual in the eleventh grade. She knew they would always be there, but they did catch her off guard this time since it had been about a month since she had heard anything.

 

_ “God, I can’t believe we have to change in here with her” _ , a tall, brunette girl who Rosa quickly identified as Jenny Gildenhorn whispered.

 

_ “I know, it’s like the teachers are trying to creep us out” _ , the skinny blonde beside her said. Rosa just bit her lip and got changed quicker. Luckily, the girls stopped when someone walked in to the change room. It was Gina, thank God. Gina walked over to Rosa and smiled at her.

 

“Hey loser, what’s up?” Gina asked. Rosa said nothing, just shook her head. It wasn’t like her to get so upset over little things like what those girls said, but she was. She was upset and angry and just wanted to punch something.

 

But she didn’t. Rosa's been suspended enough times to know that it’s so much better to get revenge where nobody knows it was you. “Nothing,” she responded to Gina, but gave her that look that meant it was definitely something. Gina cocked her head at Rosa, her perfect eyebrows downturned in confusion, but Rosa just shook her head. Gina still looked worried, but didn’t want to pressure Rosa into talking, as she knew she was a very private person. Rosa waited for Gina to finish changing, and then the two of them headed into the auditorium, where there dance class took place, and sat on the stage, where half their class already sat. Their teacher, Ms Richardson, was sitting in one of the auditorium chairs, waiting for the rest of the class to show up. When the bell rang at 8:20, the entire class had trickled into the auditorium and were sitting on the stage. Ms Richardson walked up the stage steps and began to talk.

 

“As you all know, we have been working on our ballroom dance routines for the past three weeks. Finally, everybody is in class, so we can begin to present today. I will be pulling groups from a bowl to see which order we’re gonna go in, but do we have any volunteers to go first?”. Nobody raised their hand. “Alright, exactly what I expected, so I guess we’ll draw our first group!” Ms Richardson reached her long, slender hand into the purple mixing bowl. The room was silent as nobody wanted to go first.

 

“And the first group is… Jenny and Eddie! Everyone clear the stage, and find a chair as close to the front of the auditorium as possible,” Ms Richardson said. When everyone was sat down, Jenny smiled at Rosa in such a mean girl, ‘I’m better than you’, way. Rosa clenched her fists and breathed heavily through her nose.

 

“Alright Rosa, what did that bitch do to you?”, Gina whispered. Rosa looked over at her.

 

“I’ll tell you later,” she whispered back. She didn’t want to think about that now. She had Gina with her, and she was safe.

 

Jenny and Eddie performed a graceful waltz. They were doing wonderfully, and it made Rosa so mad. She desperately wanted Jenny to trip, or mess up a move, or have Eddie step on her toes. But of course, Jenny Gildenhorn was being the perfect, graceful girl she always was.

 

When the two of them finished their dance, they got a round of applause. Rosa rolled her eyes, and Gina sat there, splayed out in her seat, not giving Jenny or Eddie anything.

 

Ms Richardson finishes writing something in her notes and then speaks up. “Okay, it’s time for our next group. The second pair to go will be Gina and Rosa!”. Gina immediately stands up, confident as always, but Rosa is frozen for a second. She takes a deep breath before standing up and walking to the stage.

 

Her and Gina had practiced for weeks. They were going to be doing a fun tango, Gina playing the traditionally masculine role, and Rosa playing the feminine. They were basically guaranteed some of the highest marks in the class, since Rosa did ballet from the ages of four to sixteen, and Gina was an amazing dancer, even without any training. The two of them took their positions across from each other, and waited for the nod from Ms Richardson saying they could go.

 

When the music started, something washed over Rosa and it was like she was back in Gina’s basement, practicing these moves over and over again until late at night. She had melted into the auburn haired girls gaze night after night, trying to focus on staying on her feet, even if all she wanted to think about was the fact that Gina was touching her waist, and the fact that Gina was looking at Rosa with that damn smile that Rosa fell in love with the first day she saw it.

 

She performed the moves perfectly, Gina’s touch hypnotizing her nerves away. When Gina twirled her, her heart fluttered and Rosa smiled. When Gina dipped her, their gazes met, and Rosa never wanted this to end. The music finally faded away, and Gina gave Rosa that damn smile again. Rosa couldn’t help but smile back. Gina was the one person who could consistently break Rosa’s badass exterior and cause a smile to crack open her stone cold face. Everyone else thought Rosa’s etched in scowl was unbeatable, but in Gina’s case, it just took a few words or a smile to break through to her.

 

As the two of them bowed, the class applauded. They walked off the stage back into the seats. They sat beside each other, and just as Rosa put her hand on the armrest, Gina also went to do the same. Gina’s warm hand landed on top of Rosa’s, but instead of pulling it away in shock or disgust, Gina kept her hand there. The Latina felt her cheeks burn a deep red, but thankfully the auditorium lights were dimmed. Gina looked over at Rosa, but Rosa quickly averted her gaze to whatever pair was dancing now. She couldn’t let Gina know how she felt.

 

By the end of class, almost every pair had performed, but Rosa couldn’t tell you a thing about any of their dances. The only thing she could think of was the warm hand that was sitting on top of hers, and the fact that Gina Linetti kept looking at Rosa throughout the class.

 

**5:02 PM, leaving play read through**

 

Rosa spent basically the entire day with Gina, as usual. On day one, they had dance with Ms Richardson together first period, calculus with Mrs Melton second period, then lunch, and then a shared spare after lunch. The only part of the day they had apart was last period, when Rosa had chemistry with Ms Weber, and Gina had biology with Mrs House. And then after school, they had a play read through. Of course, Rosa wasn’t complaining.

 

“Hey Rosie, whaddaya think about that kissing scene?” Gina asked her as she half-jogged up to her.

 

Rosa smiled and looked at the ground. “I mean, it’s no big deal. We’re actors, right?” she says. If only Gina knew how big of a deal this was to her.

 

“Yeah, I mean, totally. I’m excited to practice it.” Gina said. Rosa whipped her head around.

 

“What?” Rosa asked, but Gina had already started turning around.

 

“Gotta go, live the other way, bye!!!” Gina shouted while running away. Had she really said she was  _ excited  _ to kiss Rosa? There was no way in hell Gina was into her. Rosa wasn’t the kind of girl Gina was into. She was pretty sure Gina had never even dated a girl. Sure, she’d made out with girls at parties and such, (not for show, just because she liked it) but she had never been in a fully committed relationship with a girl. Hell, Gina hadn’t been in a real relationship since tenth grade, and she dumped the boy because she found out he was a Gemini (Pisces and Gemini aren’t compatible, we have to listen to the universe). Not to say Rosa was any better at relationships, she dumped her ex girlfriend Becky because she ate too much soup.

 

The entire way home, Rosa thought about Gina’s comment. What did she mean by that? It made Rosa both insanely happy and totally confused. Why would Gina want to kiss  _ her _ ? Sure, Rosa could admit she was attractive, but she never thought of herself as Gina level pretty. Could Gina really be into her?

 

Like the disaster bisexual she was, Rosa thought about this for hours. Finally, after dinner, she decided to confront Gina about what she said, because she wasn’t going to get anything done otherwise.

 

**Rosa:** what did u mean earlier???

 

**Gina:** ??? bitch u gotta be more specific, we spent 80% of the school day together

 

**Rosa:** on the way home from read through

 

**Rosa:** when u said u were ‘excited to practice’ when we talked about kissing

 

It was the longest minute and a half of Rosa’s life when she was waiting for Gina to respond. Gina was never away from her phone for more than thirty-five seconds max. What if she hated Rosa now? Had she said something wrong? Was she being weird?

 

**Gina:** idk, ur hella hot, and u look like u would be a good kisser. honestly, we’d be a hot ass couple, we’re both stunners.

 

Rosa screamed inside her head at this. She would have screamed for real, but her mom would kill her if she interrupted her little sister, Juliet, from doing her homework again.

 

**Rosa:** we so would haha

 

**Gina:** i gtg, see u tmw ! 💕❤️💗

 

Rosa set down her phone and sighed. Had that conversation actually just happened? This had to be a dream. There was no  _ way  _ Gina could actually think that. She was probably just being friendly anyways.

 

Rosa smiled until she fell asleep. She didn’t even know that people could hold a smile for that long. How did people do this with their face all the time?

 

Rosa knew, deep down, how people did this. Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was chapter two! please leave constructive criticism (or any thoughts) in the comments! love y'all!!!


	3. iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi kids !!! happy late valentines day, im coming at u with some fresh dianetti content. hope u guys like this chapter, it took me a while ! xo

** iii **

 

** 4:50 PM, Play rehearsal **

The next few weeks flew by. Soon enough they had started blocking for their play. Not much had happened with the whole Gina situation, sadly, but she did seem a tad more flirtatious if you asked Rosa (If you asked anyone else, it seemed as if they were going to marry within a week). The play was going wonderfully, people were doing great with their lines, and the characterisation was on point. Jake, Amy, and Charles continuously told Rosa and Gina how bad they felt for having to play homophobic, but the two of them would just roll their eyes. It was just a play, and they were all actors. The three of them had been more supportive than anyone could have ever asked for when Rosa came out.

Their Friday evening practice was going wonderfully. Thankfully, nobody was flubbing anything, and everyone was having fun. The main cast worked great together, even with Sophia in the mix. However, Rosa noticed Amy would hold Jake’s arm just a bit tighter when she was with them. Nobody could blame her, of course. 

Their ten minute break was coming to an end. They had rehearsal until six PM, Monday through Thursday. Their only free day was Friday, which was usually just spent doing homework at this point because nobody had time to do any of it on rehearsal days. It was fine though, because that meant Rosa got to see Gina for even longer four days of the week, plus weekends. It was a dream come true, except not exactly, because most of Rosa’s dreams ended with someone dying. So it was even  _ better _ than a dream.

Charles was in the middle of talking about some new restaurant he wanted the gang to go to when Director Holt spoke up. “Okay, break is over. I want us to work on a brand new scene today,”. You could feel the excitement in the room when that was announced. Adding new scenes was always fun, even if it was a bit messy in the beginning. Once everyone had come back to the stage, Director Holt began to speak again. “We’re going to work on Act 1, Scene 8, which is the final scene of Act One.”. A chorus of ‘ooh’’s erupted from the cast. Everyone knew this was the scene where Lola and June kiss. Where Rosa and Gina would kiss. It took place in a park at night, when nobody could see them. The scene was about how June is worried she wasn’t worth the trouble Lola was facing. It’s a singing scene, and Lola sings about how she could get lost in the galaxies behind June’s eyes, and how she would trade every star in the sky just to see her smile. It ends with a kiss. Rosa feels every emotion at once. Fear that she’ll do it wrong, excitement to finally do the scene, happiness to be finally kissing Gina, sadness that it won’t even be real, and mostly she just feels her heart pounding out of her chest.

“You ready Diaz? Let’s do this thang!” Gina says. A rush of relief floods over Rosa when she sees that Gina is excited. The two take their place on the stage, and they’re counted in to start. Rosa takes a deep breath and starts.

She sings the words from her heart, and wishes to whatever racially ambiguous God is out there that Gina could feel how Rosa feels about her. Rosa genuinely feels like these words are truth, because honestly, Rosa would kill a thousand men just for the privilege of hearing Gina speak. She would do anything for her.

Then the song ends, and they have to do it. Rosa freezes up for just a second, and thanks God for making it so that June, or Gina, was the one to lean in for the kiss.

Gina’s lips are on Rosa’s, and Rosa is shocked she doesn’t die of a heart attack right then and there. Gina has the softest lips, and they envelope Rosa’s in a warm kiss that makes her feel things she really shouldn’t be feeling at a play rehearsal. Rosa’s so caught up in her thoughts that she just sits there, frozen, while Gina kisses her. She doesn’t even realize it until Gina pulls away and smiles and Rosa is 100% sure that she could drop dead right then and there from that damn smile. It’s the most beautiful, totally Gina smile, and Rosa has fallen  hard for it. Rosa smiles back. The cast cheers, and Rosa is pretty sure she thinks even Holt might have the slightest hint of a smile on his face. 

The rest of practice, Rosa is completely messed up. People just give her raised eyebrows and knowing glances, because each one of them know  _ exactly _ what, or really  _ who _ is pre-occupying Rosa’s mind.

When rehearsal ends, Rosa heads to her locker to grab her backpack. Her locker is the only one out of her entire friend groups to be close to the auditorium, everyone else has lockers on the other side of the school. As Rosa is leaving the school, she hears Gina’s voice.

“Hey Rosie, think you can help me fix something up in the dressing room?” asks Gina. Of course, Rosa heads over. She heads into the dressing room and Gina is in there.

“What do you need help with?” Rosa asks, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. She knows she’s most likely bright pink by now, but if she isn’t, she will be soon.

“I just wanna ask you a question. Why didn’t you kiss me back? Was it weird? I can ask them to take it out if it is, you know I can convince them.” Gina says. Rosa takes a deep breath. It’s now or never, isn’t it?

“No, it’s not weird. Well it is, but not because of you. I mean it is because of you, but-”

“What are you saying?” Gina interrupts.

“I’m saying I like you Gina! And I know you would never like me back but I can’t stop being into you, I haven’t since I met you in eighth grade! But I know you would never like a girl like me, and I just have to deal with that. But that’s why I didn’t kiss you back. Because I was freaking out.” Rosa says, overcome with something braver than she is, despite how much she wants to be that brave girl. Gina looks at her in stunned silence for a moment that is about three seconds too long for Rosa to cope with.

And then Gina Linetti’s lips are locked with Rosa’s, for real this time. Rosa gasps in surprise at first, but then melts into the kiss. Gina kisses Rosa passionately, left hand on the side of her face, and right hand on her waist, just the way it is when they’re dancing.

It’s like fireworks going off in Rosa’s brain right now. She now notices that Gina’s lips taste slightly of cotton candy, and tha Gina keeps pulling Rosa in closer and closer. She and Rosa are in a perfect rhythm of kissing, and it’s like this moment was made just for the two of them. It’s like the rest of the world falls away and all there is is Gina’s lips and Gina’s hand on her waist and the smell of Gina’s shampoo and Gina, Gina, Gina. If she had to pick one moment to relive over again, it would be this one.

Rosa puts her arms around Gina’s neck as Gina guides her towards the wall. Rosa can’t believe it, she’s really making out with the most beautiful girl in the entire state of New York, probably the most beautiful girl in the country, in a high school dressing room. After another minute and a half, Gina pulls away. Rosa looks directly into Gina’s beautiful, blue eyes and breaks out the biggest smile. “Wow, that was…”, she starts, but can’t find a word to describe how mind bogglingly wonderful that just was.

“Yeah, you’re an even better kisser than I imagined. Which is saying a lot, the fact that you outdid even  _ my  _ brain.” Gina says, not taking her hands off of Rosa (not that she’s complaining). Rosa raises her eyebrows and shakes her head a little. Mostly because she’s unable to form words at the moment, but partly because it makes Gina laugh.

“Thanks, I guess? We really should get going, not that I don’t  _ love _ this, but people are probably wondering what happened.” Rosa says, finally finding the ability to form a sentence.

Gina smiles. “Let’s go.”

** 11:21 PM, Rosa Diaz’s Bedroom **

It’s been six hours, and Rosa hasn’t thought about one thing other than Gina’s lips on hers. The first time, it was awkward and strange, but their make out session in the dressing room had been absolute magic. The only thing is, she doesn’t know where her friendship with Gina stands now. She’s been scared to ask all night, as she doesn’t want things to be weird between the two. Rosa’s never been the romantic type, except for everything is so much different with Gina. It’s like Gina is this ethereal being and Rosa couldn’t escape her even if she wanted. Finally, Rosa decides to just call Gina. She’s always up late, so it’s almost guaranteed she’ll answer.

The phone rings three times before Gina picks up. “Gina Linetti Spaghetti Confetti, who dis?” She says. Rosa rolls her eyes and smiles.

“Gina, you know it’s me,” Rosa says. She hears Gina laugh on the other end.

“Yeah, but I’m a rascal. I’ve been wanting to answer the phone like that for weeks, but nobody calls me since it’s not 2009 anymore. You do realize we have a thing called texting now, right?” Gina says sarcastically. Rosa lets out a chuckle at that.

“Gina, we have to talk. About what happened earlier,” Rosa says. She really just wants things to be easy, but she knows from previous experience it’s so much worse to hold off on talking about the more difficult subjects than it is to just get them over with.

“What about it?” Gina asks, suddenly sounding serious.

Rosa takes a deep breath. “What are we? Are you into me, or was it just a kiss? I’ve been freaking out for the past few hours over it,” she confesses. Rosa feels terrified in this moment. Could she be reading into it? Is she being weird? Is Gina going to hate her?

She hears Gina take a deep breath on the other side of the line. “Rosie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I know you’re not into me that way.”

Rosa feels confused now. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean that I shouldn’t have kissed you. I really, really like you, but that was so uncool of me. I know you aren’t interested in dating me.”

Woah there, back up. Since when has Rosa shown any signs of not being into Gina? All she ever  thinks about is how much she’s into Gina. “Gina, I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’m like, super into you. I have been forever. I  never  thought you would be interested in me though.”

“Rosa, I’ve had a crush on you since the eighth grade! I thought I was being pretty obvious with my flirting, but I guess not. But why wouldn’t I like you? You’re gorgeous, for starters, plus you’re super talented and a total badass,” Gina says. “And the gorgeous thing. I know I already said it, but I feel like once isn’t enough.”

Rosa is blown away by this. How could Gina ever like Rosa? Gina was perfect, with her absolutely beautiful looks, and her amazing confidence, not to mention her humour. Rosa could go on and on about how perfect Gina was. “Gina, I started liking you the first day I met you. I don’t know how you never noticed.”

Gina laughs softly on the other end, and god Rosa could listen to that sound for the rest of her life and never feel like it was enough. “Well then. Where do we go from here?”

Rosa takes a deep breath. “Gina, will you be my girlfriend?”

Gina smiles. “I’d love to.”

** 10:03 AM, Rosa Diaz’s home **

Rosa walks into the living room. Neither of her parents are home, so it’s just her and Juliet. Juliet is watching TV on the couch, wearing her pyjamas. Rosa sometimes doesn’t realize how much the thirteen year old looks like her. Tall, thin, with black, curly hair, an angular face, and a slightly edgy taste in fashion. Their older sister, Lillian, was the odd one out, as she was shorter than Juliet, curvy, with long, wavy hair. The only reason people could tell they're related was by surname.

When Rosa sits on the couch, her sister looks at her. “So, you and Gina?” Juliet asks. Rosa looks at her, completely shocked.

“How do you know about that?” Rosa asks. There was no way her little sister could have known about what went down with Gina.

“I could hear what was going on. This house has pretty thin walls, and our rooms are right beside each other. You really need to learn to talk quieter at night.” Juliet says, very matter-of-factly. 

Rosa looks totally embarrassed. “Okay fine, me and Gina are dating. But what do you know about relationships anyways, you’re thirteen!”. Rosa is quite defensive when it comes to her personal life, despite the fact that she’s quite close with her sister.

“Uh, I’ve had three boyfriends Rosa. Keep up. And I’m really not surprised about you two ending up together, I could tell you were into each other when she came over for a sleepover with you last year. You two seriously never stopped staring at each other.” Juliet says. Rosa turns a deep shade of red.

“Jesus, did everyone know but me? Also, three boyfriends? Who? How did I not know about this?” Rosa exclaims. She’s starting to get very confused as to how oblivious she was to Gina liking her. She’s also confused on how her sister has dated almost the same amount of people she has.

“Troy Saxon for a month, Justin Moss for two and a half months, and Cameron Valdez for six weeks. And you didn’t notice because I’m smart and can cover my tracks.” Rosa was about to respond with something funny when she got a text from Gina.

** Gina:  ** hey babe, be ready in 45 minutes. i wanna take u somewhere xo

Rosa smiled big. She was going on a date with  _ the  _ Gina Linetti. The past 24 hours didn’t even seem real at this point. Why was the universe being so nice to her?

** Rosa:  ** i will be! can’t wait to see u xo

And with that, Rosa headed upstairs. She no longer just had a crush to impress, she now had a  _ girlfriend _ .

And having Gina Linetti as her girlfriend was the best thing anyone could ever have, if you ask Rosa. Except nobody else would ever get a say on that in the future, because Gina was hers.

  
_ Thank you, universe _ , Rosa thought as she got ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how did y'all like that ;) im so proud of my girls for FINALLY getting together smh. i love them. please leave me some comments and kudos, love y'all! stay safe <3


	4. iv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohmygod im so sorry it's been SO long since i uploaded (three weeks now), this chapter has been done for over a week but i've been freaking out over whether it was good enough hhh,,, im really sorry it took me so long, please tell me how you feel about this??? i love you all sm

**11:05 AM, Gina Linetti’s car**

 

Rosa had spent a while trying to figure out what to wear. Gina refused to tell her where they were going, so she eventually just decided on a pair of dark wash jeans, a long-sleeved black t-shirt, and her black Docs. She wore a little more makeup than usual, but nothing too elaborate. She worried that Gina would think she was too much, or not enough, but managed to not freak out before Gina showed up at her door. Luckily, she was 15 minutes late, giving Rosa enough time to fix her curly hair.

When Gina had shown up at Rosa’s house, Rosa got a bit caught up in gay panic. Gina looked absolutely gorgeous, wearing an olive-green sweater with the collar of her white button down sticking out and a pair of jeans, and her auburn hair was just down, curled at the ends. She had on minimal makeup, yet still looked absolutely beautiful. Rosa literally stood there frozen for a few seconds before Juliet shouted, “Bye Rosa!” from the couch.

“So, does Juliet know?” Gina asked her as the doors shut.

“Uh, yeah. She heard our phone call through the stupid thin wall between our room. It’s like she’s trying to spy on me sometimes!” Rosa says. Gina smiles at her and shakes her head, her cheeks flushing a slight pink. Gina blushing was probably the cutest thing Rosa had ever seen.

Now she was sitting in Gina’s car, listening to her sing along to some pop song on the radio that Rosa didn’t recognize. It was her new favourite though, not because of the actual piece, but because Gina was singing it, and anything that Gina did was Rosa’s favourite. The song ended, and Gina looked at Rosa with a smile. Rosa had a huge grin plastered on her face, and she felt amazing. She was in the car with her _girlfriend_ , and she couldn’t be happier.

“So are you planning on telling me where we’re going?” Rosa asked. Gina had a mischievous grin on her face.

“Nope, you’ll see when we get there. How have I dealt with you being so impatient for the past five years?” Gina responds. Rosa smiles and gives a slight eye roll.

“The same way I’ve tolerated you breaking out into random dance numbers. You thought it was cute,” Rosa responds. It feels weird to flirt so lightheartedly. She’d never felt this way with Marcus, Adrian, Becky, Aubrey, or even Alicia. It was like she was floating.

“I feel so attacked,” Gina laughed. “I mean, you aren’t wrong, but jeez!”

The two of them drove and flirted for a few more minutes before Gina pulled into the marketplace parking lot. Rosa looked at her quizzically.

“You’re taking me to the market?” She asked. “Not that that’s a bad thing, any place with you is the best.”. She realizes she’s rambling and turns bright red.

“You’ll see,” Gina says. “And by the way, you’re adorable when you blush.”. This causes Rosa to turn an even deeper shade of red, and Gina laughs.

It turns out Gina was taking her to get gelato. They go to a smaller stall in the market, with more flavours than Rosa has ever tried in her life. Gina gets birthday cake, and Rosa gets coffee. The two of them walk back out to Gina’s car, because according to Gina, there’s still more places to go.

Their second destination is a small diner that Rosa has passed a hundred times but never gone to. “You’ve talked about this place like, a billion times,” Gina said. “I had to take you here on our first date”. Rosa’s cheeks flush pink at that D-word. She could barely believe she was on a real date with the girl she’s liked since eighth grade.

The two of them get a booth right by a window. Rosa orders a burger and Gina orders nachos. They get a strawberry milkshake to split. The two of them are sitting, waiting for their food to come, while Gina gossips about the girls in her dance class. Rosa just sits there, staring into Gina’s beautiful blue eyes. She could listen to that girl talk for hours. Even though Rosa doesn’t know who Natasha is or why she’s allegedly pregnant at 19, or even why Gina cares so much about exposing her for faking her pregnancy, but the one thing Rosa does know is she loves Gina. She loves how passionate she gets when she talks, she loves how her face scrunches up when she smiles, she loves how she knows she’s always the most beautiful girl in the room.

Rosa is laughing at a stupid joke Gina made when their food comes. Rosa tries to stop herself from inhaling hers, because even though she’s known Gina since the eighth grade, she’s still embarrassed about eating in front of her or anyone really. She eventually gives into the delicious burger in front of her, stopping to make silly quips during Gina’s story. They take turns sipping from the pink milkshake between the two of them, but after Gina finally finishes her story, the two of them lean in at the same time, and they almost kiss. Rosa turns beet red and hides her face in her hands, smiling behind them. Gina giggles. “C’mon, stop hiding, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” she says, but this just makes Rosa’s face burn red, and she’s pretty sure she’s blushing down to her neck. Somehow, she can make out with Gina in a dressing room and be perfectly fine, but putting her face close to Gina’s on a date nearly kills her? “Rosa, if you don’t move your hands in the next three seconds I’m eating your food.” Gina says. She starts counting down from three, and on one, Rosa finally takes her hands away from her face, and Gina smiles big. “See, I told you that you were cute.” She says, making Rosa smile.

“I am _not_ cute,” Rosa says. Gina just rolls her eyes.

“Of course you are Rosie. You’re adorable and pretty and I know you’re a badass but badasses can still be cute.” She says in response to Rosa. Rosa feels her face heat up, but not in the good way this time.

“No, I’m not pretty or any of that stuff. I don’t look anything like those pretty girls in magazines and on TV,” Rosa says, her voice getting quieter as she looks down at the table. She doesn’t know why she’s getting so emotional in the middle of a diner. She’s always been insecure of how she looks, but she usually just hides it with her badass attitude and a stoic face. Only around Gina does she really feel like she can be open about how she feels.

Gina looks at Rosa with sad eyes, slightly shaking her head. How can she not see how perfect she is? Gina has literally never seen a more stunning person in her life, and no matter who she’s been with, she’s always wished it was Rosa. She scoots into the booth with Rosa, putting her arm around her girlfriend.

“Baby, you’re right. You don’t look like the girls on TV. You look better. You’re absolutely beautiful, and gorgeous, and stunning, and elegant, and every single synonym for those words in existence. You’re perfect,” Gina whispers, rocking her girlfriend slightly, kissing her hair. Rosa begins to cry, tears spilling over her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m being so stupid-” She starts, but Gina cuts her off.

“Don’t say that. You’re the smartest person I know. You aren’t stupid,” Gina reassures her.

“Gina, we’re friends with Amy Santiago, you can’t say that.” Rosa laughs a little.

“No, you’re definitely smarter than her. Don’t tell her that I said that though, she’ll probably beat me to death with one of her binders.” Rosa actually laughs at this, wiping tears away from her face. She grabs Gina’s hand, who gives hers a squeeze, and they finish their meal like that, sitting in the same booth, holding hands. It feels safe, and Gina’s heart swells a little every time she sees Rosa sneak a peek at her. This girl was so beautiful, she really would be the death of her, Gina thought. She hadn’t felt this much for any person in her life, except for her mom and Jake, both of which were family love. She’s never truly been in love other than with Rosa, and it felt nice to be a little less alone.

When the bill comes, Rosa goes to pull out her wallet, but Gina grabs her wrist. “Nuh uh, I asked you out, I’m paying,” She says. Rosa rolls her eyes.

“You already paid for us to get ice cream!” Rosa says, but Gina just gives her _that_ look, and Rosa knows there’s no arguing with her. “Fine, but I’m getting you next time.”

The waitress smiles at the two girls, wisps of blonde hair framing her face. “You two are cute together, I’m glad you’re able to be out at such a young age. I’m still not out to my parents, but I’m happy you girls are able to do it,” She says. Rosa’s stomach drops a bit when she says this, but she smiles anyways.

“Thanks,” she says to the pretty waitress. Gina looks at Rosa, and can tell something is off. Rosa shakes her head a bit, and Gina knows that means she doesn’t want to talk about it. Rosa isn’t in the mood to talk about more sad things at the moment, she’s already cried once. Luckily, Gina understands. The two of them have always understood each other like that, despite how different they are.

The two of them are walking back to Gina’s car, holding hands. Gina is swinging Rosa’s hand and Rosa is going along with it. God, if anyone from school saw them doing this, Rosa’s reputation would be completely different. However, she doesn’t really care all that much. She would give up everything if it meant she got to be with Gina. When they reach Gina’s car, Rosa holds the door open for her. “Wow, Rosa Diaz is a gentleman, who would’ve guessed?” Gina says. Rosa smiles and pecks her on the lips. Gina grins and looks at the ground for just a moment before getting into the car.

Gina and Rosa drive around for a while, just talking. They talk about school, and the play, and their friends, and all the while holding hands and making googly eyes at each other.

“Do you wanna go chill at my place?” Gina asks. Rosa smiles.

“Is this the intro to some cheesy porno?” She responds. This sends Gina into a fit of hysterics, and it’s lucky the two of them are stopped at a red light, because otherwise, Gina most definitely would have crashed the car.

“No, it’s you using up all my gas money bitch! Although…” she trails off. Rosa rolls her eyes and laughs.

“Sorry, I’ll pay you back for the gas. How long have we been driving anyways?” Rosa says, completely ignoring the last part of Gina’s sentence.

“An hour, and you don’t have to worry about paying me back babe, this is a _date_ ,” Gina says, and Rosa kisses her on the cheek.

“Best first date I’ve ever been on,” Rosa replies. Gina just smiles. “Also, you’ve got lipstick on your cheek.”

“Diaz, if you aren’t kidding I’m going to kill you,” jokes Gina. Rosa actually has no clue if Gina is joking or not, but hopes for the best.

“No you aren’t, because I’m pretty sure I owe you a second date,” Rosa flirts.

Gina shakes her head and smiles. “Oh, Rosie. if only you knew what you were getting yourself into.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was the date??? i had to include some angst because im Always Sad lmao. PLEASE give me feedback, i've been freaking out about uploading this for over a week and i need validation


	5. v

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres chapter 5!! i love this chapter sm and i hope u do too. also u cant convince me gina doesnt know every lyric to fergalicious its just fact

**7:15 AM, Rosa Diaz’s house**

 

Rosa is getting ready to leave for school Monday morning, when she gets a text from Gina. 

 

**Gina:** hey boo, dont think im letting u walk, i’ll pick you up in 25 minutes xo.

 

**Rosa:** sounds great tysm <3

 

**Gina:** god are we one of those gross couples?? are we turning into jake and amy

 

**Rosa:** i sent. one heart gina. u literally call ppl ‘babygirl’ on the daily. chill

 

**Gina:** u got me there babygirl

 

Rosa shakes her head and smiles. She strolls into the living room, deciding to sit there until Gina comes. Juliet looks at her funny. “Shouldn’t you be on your way to school?”, she asks. “Or are you getting a ride with your new boo?”

 

Rosa punches her sister in the arm. “Call Gina my  _ boo _ one more time and you’ll have a black eye, Julie. And yes, I am getting a ride with  _ Gina _ .”. Juliet smirks and mouths ‘okay’, dragging it out. Rosa decided to pull out her phone and text Gina. She’s never been one for being clingy, but it’s like Gina has a trance set on Rosa. With any of Rosa’s other boyfriends or girlfriends, she thought about them a few times a day, but never to the point of this. She can’t escape thinking about Gina, never has, never will.

 

**Rosa:** ugh can you just come nowwww i miss u

 

**Gina:** thought we weren’t turning into jake and amy, hm?

 

**Rosa:** that was before u texted me while i was tired, turning me into a clingy mess. pls just come now?? i’ll make it worth it

 

**Gina:** and how will you do that

 

**Rosa:** hm, not telling u unless u come pick me up now

 

**Gina:** fineee im on my way xo

 

Rosa smiles, knowing she’s enticed Gina. She isn’t the super flirty type, but she misses Gina and wants to see her now, and will basically do anything to get her over here. Juliet gives her a  _ look _ , knowing why Rosa’s smiling, but when Rosa gives her a different kind of  _ look _ (the kind is murderous, if you haven’t caught on), she backs off.

 

Within a few minutes, Gina is texting Rosa to tell her she’s there. Rosa walks to the car, smiling that her girlfriend is here. Gina opens the door for Rosa, and Rosa pulls her into the passenger seat with her. Thank god for Gina’s tinted windows, because it’s like they’re back in the dressing room, With Gina straddling Rosa’s legs and them suddenly not knowing how to breath air that isn’t each others. Gina bites Rosa’s bottom lip, drawing a gasp from her, but then she grabs Rosa’s hand. The softness and gentleness of this action makes Rosa blush, and suddenly she’s smiling big as ever. They break the kiss, and Gina chuckles when she looks at Rosa.

 

“Why are you smiling so much?” She asks.

 

Rosa looks down and then at Gina. “You’re cute,” she says. Gina just smiles.

 

“I know I am, but you’re even cuter. And that’s saying something,” Gina replies, kissing Rosa’s cheek, before climbing over to the driver's seat. Rosa blushes. Gina looks in her mirror and laughs. “Rosie, you got my lipstick everywhere!”. Rosa just laughs.

 

“Worth it! Plus, you have some makeup wipes and your lipstick in your bag, we all know.”

 

“Awe, you know me so well. Plus, you’re also gonna need one of those makeup wipes,” Gina laughs. When Rosa looks at herself in the mirror, she gasps. 

 

“Gina!” she says, through giggles. “I look like a five year old who just got into her moms makeup!”. Gina’s red lipstick is smeared all over Rosa’s mouth and chin. She has to admit, it is kind of attractive, knowing Gina did that, but she also looks ridiculous.

 

“Nah, you look cute. However, since none of our friends even know we’re together, I think you might want this-” she says, tossing a makeup wipe at Rosa, who uses it to wipe the lipstick off her face.

 

After she’s done, Rosa realises what Gina said. None of their friends know that the two of them are together. Rosa doesn’t know what Gina wants to do about this, considering she can be a total wildcard when it comes to dating. It’s either people find out she’s with someone when she mentions they’ve been dating for months, or she stand up on a table and announces to the entire drama club that she made out with them. There’s really no inbetween.

 

“About that,” Rosa starts. “Do you want people to know?”. Gina looks back at Rosa.

 

“I mean, I don’t care all that much if they do. Do you want to tell people?” Gina asks. Rosa smiles at her. She loves how despite Gina’s bitchy exterior, she takes Rosa’s feelings seriously.

 

“I’m not sure I want everyone to know yet, I don’t think I’m ready for that. But I think we should tell our friends, if you’re good with that. Is that fine with you?” Rosa says. If the whole school knew, some of the girls would probably be even meaner to her than they already were, plus they’d attack Gina. She knows Gina likes to act stronger than she is, but those girls can be horrendous, and she doesn’t want her girlfriend to get hurt.

 

“That sounds perfect. You’re perfect.” Gina says, kissing Rosa on the cheek again. Rosa smiles and looks at her feet. “Also, we really should get going to school, if you don’t want to be late.”. Rosa nods, and the two of them take off, finally leaving Rosa’s driveway. Gina puts on her ‘spirit song’, which is Fergalicious, and sings along the entire time. Rosa just sits there, wondering how she got so lucky.

 

**11:02 AM, Brooklyn Academy High**

 

Rosa, Gina, Jake, Amy, and Charles all walked into the cafeteria, towards their table. The minute they sat down, Amy’s head was on Jake’s shoulder, and his hand was around her waist, except she didn’t have her usual heart eyes that she did when Jake was touching her, really, her eyes were mostly closed.

 

“Woah there, no need to fuck on the table,” Gina says, throwing  a french fry at Amy’s head. Amy rolls her eyes so hard she probably pulls a muscle.

 

“I got an hour and a half of sleep, because I was studying for the psych exam we have after lunch. And anyways, I’m allowed to lean on my boyfriend’s shoulder, because I have one of those instead of hating the world like you, Gina,” Amy says. Most people would be offended by this, but Gina just smiles. Her and Amy have had a fake rivalry going on since they met in seventh grade. They didn’t really hate each other, but they teased one another so much that anyone not familiar with the two would think that they did.

 

“Who’s to say I’m single?” Gina says. Everyone starts freaking out, except Rosa, who just raises her eyebrows.

 

“Wait, who are you dating? I’m gonna need their name, home address, phone number, and social security number,” Jake says, like the protective older brother he always is to Gina and Gina alone.

 

“Hold up, you’re dating someone? How long?” Amy asks. She’s still a dazed and confused in her sleep deprived state, but interested. Charles, on the other hand, is ecstatic.

 

“I knew it! You’ve acted different all day! You didn’t even make fun of my grown out fingernails once this morning!”, he says. The entire table looks at him in confusion.

 

“Gross, Charles, I try not to look at your hands. And I’ll have you all know, Rosa’s my new boo thang, no need to worry,” Gina smiles.

 

“Call me your ‘boo thang’ one more time and you’ll have a broken jaw, but yeah. Gina and I are dating. Surprise?” Rosa says. The entire friend group explodes once again, asking questions at a rapid fire pace.

 

“Kay, chill guys. We’ve been dating since Friday. We went on one date. It was great, and y’all should have expected it at this point, what, with the heart eyes Rosa’s been making at me for five years,” Gina says, after everyone has finished bombarding her with questions.

 

“Um, excuse me, I seem to remember you telling me that you would ‘die for the hot new girl’, two days after meeting Rosa in the eighth grade,” Jake says. “But correct me if I’m wrong.”

 

“Yeah, I will correct you, it was three days after meeting her, Gina don’t fall that quickly, babygirl.” The whole group bursts into laughter.

 

“Wait, three days?” Rosa says. “Okay, it took me at least a week to realize I liked you.”

 

“Get a room!”, Jake and Amy say in unison. Gina and Rosa roll their eyes and go back to eating their food.

 

“No, I’m loving this!” Charles says. “Keep going!”. All of them groan in unison, and Gina pushes her food away.

 

“Alright, officially lost my appetite. Thanks Charles!”, she says. Rosa pushes her food back to her.

 

“No, you’re eating. You are  _ not _ going into a exam without having eaten lunch,” she says to her girlfriend, who blushes.

 

“Is Rosa being nice to someone? Or is this just a sleep deprived hallucination?” Amy says, eyes still half closed while resting on Jakes shoulder.

 

“Nope, it’s real. And Ames, you really need to go to sleep, are you sure you’re okay?” Jake says. Amy hums in response. The rest of the lunch hour goes by without being too eventful, other than Jake spilling orange soda all over his notes, which may or may not have been on purpose. Rosa actually smiles for a long time, knowing that she has the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for.

 

**5:15 PM, Play rehearsal**

 

They were working a particularly difficult and exhausting play rehearsal. Amy was about to fall over dead, but luckily, Jake was able to convince her to rest for a bit while they were practicing scenes she wasn’t in. They were rehearsing one of the most emotional scenes in the play, where Lola comes out to her parents. Rosa always does really well with this scene, because she’s practiced coming out to her own parents hundreds of times in the mirror. She isn’t out to any of her family except her younger sister, Juliet. She was going to come out to Lillian at Thanksgiving, but she decided against it at the last minute.

 

They’re in the height of the scene, where Lola is having a yelling match with her parents, played by Jake and Amy. “You don’t really care about me, you just want me to be a carbon copy of you! But guess what! I like girls and that isn’t changing!” Rosa/Lola yells, tears welling up in her eyes. 

 

“We just want you to be normal!” Jake/Lola’s father yells back.

 

“You’re ruining your life, you’re ruining everything for all of us! Why can’t you think about anyone else for one minute?”, Amy/Lola’s mother yells.

 

“No, you’re ruining everything. You don’t care if I’m happy. I spent so long trying to be perfect for you, but I was never enough, was I? I never am. Well I’m  _ done _ with trying, and I’m done with you if you aren’t going to love me for who I am”, Rosa/Lola spits back. Rosa both loves and hates this scene, because it’s so raw and emotional and  _ real _ , and she feels both the utter strength and pain that her character is feeling.

 

“If who you are is a freak, then no. We don’t.” Jake/Lola’s father says. The words feel like acid on his tongue. He hates the character he’s playing. He loves Rosa so much, and even though both of them know it’s just for a play and he doesn’t feel that way, it hurts him to know that this is the reality for some people.

 

“Just go,” Amy/Lola’s mother says. “Get out of our house. You aren’t welcome.”. Amy also feels sick knowing that this exact scene is exactly how her own family could react if she weren’t straight. Her heart aches for any kid who ever has to go through something like this.

 

“I will. I just hope you know, there’s no going back now, and you’re missing out on a hell of a lot. This is your loss, not mine.” Rosa/Lola says, and storms ‘out of the house’, which is really just off stage. She shakes her hands, getting rid of the residual anger she feels in the scene, and walks back on stage, since that was the last scene of the day. 

 

“I hope you know that I am so proud of all of you,” Director Holt starts saying. “You have all come so far as actors, especially my seniors. You are all going places in the future, I can tell.”. Everyone starts clapping, and Rosa thinks Amy might be tearing up a bit. All of them want approval from Director Holt so bad, and are willing to fight tooth and nail for it. They all feel amazing. In the heat of the moment, Rosa kisses Gina on the cheek.

 

“Wait, did Rosa just kiss Gina?”, a red haired, tenth grade boy from the ensemble asks. Everyone stares. Gina looks at Rosa, in a way that asks her what she wants to do with this. Rosa takes a deep breath.

 

“Yes, I did. Gina is my girlfriend. If you ever tease one of us, you’re going to have to get all of your fingers surgically reattached, got it?” Rosa says. Everyone stares.

 

“Wait, you two are dating?”, a grade nine girl with pink hair and blue eyes asks.

 

“Isn’t that what she just said? Yeah, Rosa and I are dating, deal with it,” says Gina, wrapping her arm around Rosa’s waist.

 

“Wait, so you’re saying you weren’t dating before? I thought you two had been together for months,” another freshman from the ensemble asks. A couple people nod in agreement.

 

“No, we’ve been together for a few days. Can everyone stop asking questions now?” Rosa says. She’s not angry, for once, honestly just completely shocked that she just told everyone in the drama club that her and Gina were dating. She’s usually very private with her relationships, the only one she ever really talked very openly about was Adrian. Everyone knew that Rosa just didn’t talk about herself much, and just accepted that.

 

“Yes, I agree, can we all stop discussing Ms Diaz and Ms Linetti’s personal lives right now?”, Director Holt says. He gives them the timings for their next rehearsal, and sends them on their way. On the way out, he looks at Rosa, gives her the slightest hint of a smile, and nods. She knows this means he is proud of her. She smiles. She doesn’t care much whether or not a lot of people are proud of her, but she cares a lot what Director Holt thinks. He’s one of the few teachers who truly believed in her, no matter what.

 

Rosa smiles her whole way home, knowing that she made not only her director proud today, but also herself.

 

**6:29 PM, Rosa Diaz’s house**

 

Rosa is lying on her bed, texting Gina.

 

**Gina:** im so proud of u for telling the drama club 💖💖💖

 

**Rosa:** thanks <3 it just felt right. drama club’s been my family for the past four years, they should know more than two things about me

 

**Gina:** wow, they know that many? surprising

 

**Gina:** also, speaking of family. are u out to urs? its ok if u aren’t, im just wondering bc u dont talk abt them much

 

Rosa gets nervous about responding. She wants to come out to her family, but they’re all Catholic and she has no clue how they’d respond. She hid being bi from anyone until eleventh grade, but she didn’t even realize it herself until seventh grade. She had gone to a Catholic school from kindergarten until grade seven, so it wasn’t like she really knew much about the community. Then, one day, she was watching Saved By The Bell with her friend, who was super into 90’s television at that point, and realized that both Lisa Turtle and Zack Morris were  _ super _ hot.

 

**Rosa:** no, im not. its not that im ashamed, its just complicated. they’re super religious.

 

**Gina:** i get that <3 its ok, take ur time baby. u dont have to tell them if u dont want to.

 

**Rosa:** how did i get so lucky to have you?

 

**Gina:** idk but you definitely are hella lucky, im amazing

 

**Rosa:** glad u kno it

 

**Gina:** ur amazing too tho

 

**Gina:** definitely the second most amazing in the world

 

**Gina:** maybe even tied for first with me

 

**Gina:** actually, ur def tied for first with me

 

**Rosa:** are you sure? better than beyonce?

 

**Gina:** okay, we can be tied for second most amazing

 

Rosa laughs, and continues to talk to Gina for the rest of the night, being attacked with strings of heart emojis when she says something doubting herself. She smiles to herself, knowing that this girl is the best thing to happen to her. Rosa might even be in love.

 

Who is she kidding, she’s definitely in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was chapter 5, please comment constructive criticism, your feeelings about this story, or ur thoughts on hummus. love u


	6. vi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys im so sorry ive disappeared for exactly a month it's been wild but im back with my longest chapter yet (it's still quite short at 3.7k words) uwu

**vi**

 

**10:08 AM, Rosa Diaz’s car**

 

Christmas break came fast. It seemed like the end of 2018 flew by, and now Rosa was in her family's car, with her mom, dad, and sisters, trying to figure out how she was going to come out to her whole family today.

 

They always had a family reunion at Christmas, and boy was the Diaz family big. She was going to be seeing her abuela, abuelo, lita, lito, six tias, seven tios, and fifteen cousins. All together, there was going to be thirty seven people at this reunion, and Rosa could not be more anxious.

 

She loved her family, but explaining things to them was hard. They were extremely traditional, so she decided that instead of coming out to them all separately and having to explain what bisexual meant thirty seven times, she’d just say it with all of the there.

 

She was trying to remember everyone who was going to be there. There were her mother's parents (Abuela and Abuelo), and her father’s parents (Lita and Lito). There were so many cousins and tias and tios to remember, and she was so anxious, that she went full Amy and made a list in her phone.

 

+: Married  =: Children

Mom’s side:

Tia Violeta + Tio Christian = Alexander (17), Christopher (11), and Olivia (9)

Tia Emmelie + Tio Diego

Tia Sofia + Tio Juan = Ivanna (14), Juliana (8), Josefina (3)

Tio Sebastian + Tia Isabella = Vincent (20), April (17)

Tio Miguel

 

Dad’s Side:

Tia Camila + Tio Matteo = Joaquin (16), Daniel (11), Felipe (6)

Tio Luis + Tia Alejandra = Louisa (17), Gabriel (13), Dylan (7), Emma (5)

 

She felt a bit bad that she couldn’t remember most of her family, but it wasn’t her fault. She was about to do the scariest thing she’s ever done in her life. She had told Gina that she was planning on coming out over dinner, and she had given her support and promised that if things went awry, she’d be there if Rosa wanted someone to talk to. Rosa also discussed it with the rest of her friends, all who said the same thing (except Charles, he was babysitting his nephew Nikolaj out of town, but promised he would call her if she needed it). Rosa had adrenaline pumping through her veins, and her hands were shaking as she opened the car door.

 

They were at her Abuela and Abuelos home, because it was the closest non-apartment building anyone in the family lived in. All of her family lived in New York, and her whole dad’s side lived in Brooklyn. Half of her mom’s family did too, the other half living in Queens. When they knocked on the door, half of the family was already there. The three children were smothered by their Abuela, Abuelo, tia Violeta, tia Camila, and tio Miguel. Once the awkward hugging was over, Rosa saw her cousin April on the couch, in an intense video game match with Louisa and Alexander. She walked over. April was one of her best friends her whole life before moving to her new school, and they were still close. Her and Rosa had helped each other through everything, from starting middle school, to first dances, to first breakups. She was also the only family member Rosa had ever come out to.

 

It was in ninth grade that Rosa told April she was bisexual. They had been hanging out at April’s house, because their mom’s were doing something together. Their parents had been close as children, because they were only a year apart in age, so they still were extremely close. This meant Rosa got to see April and Vincent more than any of her other cousins. That day, Rosa and April were home alone, and they were gossiping. April asked Rosa if she had a crush, and Rosa said yes. She started interrogating her, and eventually, Rosa let the word ‘she’ slip, which shocked April.

 

“I’m bisexual,” Rosa explained to her. “I like guys and girls.”

 

April was super chill with the whole thing, and said she’d love Rosa no matter what. This was an important moment for her, since April was at that point, the only person other than Rosa herself who knew Rosa was bisexual. Since then, if either of them ever had a secret, it was out in the open between the two of them.

 

Rosa walks up behind her cousins and grabs April’s shoulders, scaring her. She pauses the game and turns around. “Rosalita! I missed you! Merry Christmas!”, she says, hugging her. April is really only four months younger than Rosa, but Rosa is still like an older sister to her.

 

“I missed you too,  _ idiota _ ,” Rosa says. She loves April, but that doesn’t free her from teasing. April starts laughing.

 

“Gabriel, you’re tagging in for me for Mario Kart, you’re playing Toad!” April says, walking off with Rosa. Their cousin Gabriel races in to play, snagging Aprils spot. “So,  _ prima _ , what’s up with you?” April asks her. Rosa sucks in a deep breath.

 

“I have a new girlfriend,” she says, really quickly. April looks at her for half a second before squealing.

 

“Ohmygod, is it Gina? Please tell me it’s Gina, you’ve been in love with her  _ forever _ !”, April says. Rosa grins.

 

“Yes, of course it’s Gina!”, Rosa says. The two of them talk about how it happened, the first date, telling the drama club, and all that.

 

“I can’t believe you two were  _ finally  _ cast as the leads! Jake and Amy are awesome, and they have great chemistry, but you and Gina are  _ perfect _ . And you’re playing girlfriends too! I think the universe was trying to tell you to finally hurry up and ask her the fuck out,” April says. Rosa chuckles.

 

“I know, I know. Also, can I talk to you about something?” Rosa says. April gets her serious look back on. She knows if Rosa is asking to talk about something, it’s definitely big.

 

“Of course,  _ chica _ , I’m always here,” April says.

 

“Well,” Rosa starts. “I’m going to come out to the family tonight. All of them at once, over dinner. I just need to know that someone there will be supporting me, if nobody else is. Juliet knows, but other than you and her, nobody else does.”

 

April hugs her with all her strength, which is a lot, considering she’s won four national boxing championships since she started boxing ten year ago. Rosa’s ribs actually hurt. “Of course I’ll support you,  _ chica _ ,” she says. “I’m always here.”

 

Rosa smiles. “I also have one more favour, could you stop breaking my ribs?”. April laughs and lets go of her.

 

“I love you,” they both say in unison, starting an argument about the technicalities of jinxing while under a roof.

 

A few minutes later, everyone is called into the dining room for brunch. They all collect their food and find somewhere to sit in the living room, considering there is nowhere near enough room in that dining room to put everyone. Rosa sits in between April and her cousin Ivanna. They all close their eyes while Abuelo leads prayer. Rosa isn’t necessarily religious, but she does have a respect for her family's religion, whether she believes it or not. When the prayer is finished, they all eat, talk, and laugh over Josefina pouring juice on her head, causing her to do it twice more, until she’s banned from having juice for the rest of the meal.

 

It’s the moments like this where Rosa feels most at home with her family. Laughing, loud chatter, music playing, and lots of food. For a few minutes, she’s able to forget her nerves and sing along to a song that her whole family has started singing, despite being one of the most tone deaf groups of people she’s ever met.

 

**6:02 PM, Diaz Christmas**

 

Rosa is physically shaking. This is the scariest moment of her life. Her voice rattles when she tries to join in with the prayer, and she’s trying to breathe evenly. During the dinner, she’s doing her best to join in the conversation, but it’s hard. Currently, she’s listening to Lillian tell a story about her boyfriend, when her Tia Alejandra starts speaking to her. “So, Rosa, any boyfriends?”, she asks. The entire table looks at her in anticipation, except for April and Juliet, who raise their eyebrows at her, wondering what she’s going to do.

 

For a second, Rosa doesn’t think  _ she _ knows what she’s going to do, but then she realizes she does. She has to do this. She gives a slight nod to April, who smiles at her, and starts talking. “Actually, I have something to say,” she starts. “I know I’m not the most open person, and I tend to be secretive about basically anything going on in my life, but there’s something you should all know about me. I’m bisexual.”

 

Nobody says anything for a second, so she keeps talking. “I know this may come as a shock, or maybe it doesn’t at all, I don’t know. But I like girls  _ and  _ boys, and there’s nothing about that that is ever going to change.”. Her heart is beating out of her chest, and she’s squeezing her fists tightly. When she looks up from the ground, the first person to meet her eyes is her father, and he has so much hurt in his eyes.

 

“ _ Hermana _ ,” he starts. “That isn’t real.”. Rosa freezes. What? It isn’t real? Her nails dig so deep into her hands that she’s probably bleeding at this point, but she doesn’t care.

 

“Yes, it is real. I know because that’s who  _ I  _ am,” she says, her voice trembling with every word. She’s never felt so small in her life, being invalidated by her own father in front of her whole family.

 

“Rosalita, I know you want to do this, but this is just a phase. You’re going to fall in love with a man some day, and that’s final,” her mother says. She’s trying to hold back the tears at this point, refusing to let anyone see her cry.

 

“No, that’s not how it works! Maybe I will fall in love with a man, like you so obviously want, but maybe I’ll marry a woman. Don’t you just want me to be happy?” Rosa chokes, her voice getting a bit louder.

 

“No, we want you to be normal!”, her mother says.

 

“There’s no such thing as bisexual,” her father says again.

 

“Gay people go to hell,” her Lito grumbles to her.

 

“Why can’t you just be normal?”, cries her mother. Her entire family starts talking at once, Tias and Tios and grandparents all judging her, until she shits them up by yelling.

 

“I  _ am  _ normal! I’m me! I’m the same daughter, niece, granddaughter, and cousin that you’ve known for seventeen years. I’m bisexual, and there’s nothing you can do to even try change me, because I know who I am, and if you don’t love me just because of who I love, I’ll let myself out, because I’m clearly not wanted here,” she screams. She doesn’t get a chance to see her the looks on everybody’s faces because she’s already putting on her coat and walking out the door, putting Gina’s number into her cell.

 

Gina picks up after the first ring. “Hi baby,” she starts, but Rosa cuts her off.

 

“Please, come get me. I need to leave. I’m walking towards your house,” she says. Her voice is raw, and she knows she’s about to cry.

 

“I’m on my way, please stay safe,” Gina says, worry apparent in her voice. “Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

 

“No, my minutes are running out. I’ll be fine, just please come get me Gina.”

 

Gina can hear the absolute pain in her girlfriends voice, and immediately gets in her car. She gets to Rosa in a few minutes, and thanks god she didn’t pass any cops, considering she was speeding.

 

When she sees Rosa, she pulls up to the curb and pulls Rosa into her car. She hugs her tightly, and Rosa breaks down, crying for the first time since it happened. She buries her head in Gina’s shoulder, crying until she has nothing left in her, still being held tightly by her beautiful girlfriend, and at this point, it feels like that’s the only thing holding her together. Gina rocks her girlfriend, singing softly in her ear, reminding her that she’s going to be okay. Rosa just tries to breath, allowing herself to just fully feel. She wraps herself tightly in Gina’s embrace, never wanting to let go, for fear of falling apart again. “You’re okay, angel. You’re okay,” Gina whispers in her ear, reassuring her. Rosa feels so completely broken, but Gina’s words are enough to steady out her breathing and stop the tears from flowing. “Are you alright?” Gina asks her.

 

“I will be,” Rosa croaks. Gina kisses her forehead and grabs her hand. “Can we get the squad together? I want to spend Christmas with my real family.”

 

Twenty minutes later, Rosa is sitting in a booth at the diner she had her date at, but this time with Gina, Jake and Amy, with Charles on FaceTime. The five of them are talking and eating and laughing, and despite the fact that Rosa still feels incredibly sad, she’s able to push it out of her head for a bit when she’s with her people. They make her feel loved, and despite the fact that they are in no way blood related, they’re like their own weird little family, and Rosa loves them wholeheartedly. Most of them are closer with each other than their own families, anyways. Rosa’s entire family just rejected her, Jake’s dad left, and Amy tries to distance herself from her perfectionist parents. Charles and Gina both had good relationships with their parents, but that was it. But somehow, when the five of the were together, it was more of a familial bond than any of them had at home.

 

During a lull in conversation, Jake asked Rosa a question. “So, I know this isn’t a thing you want to think about, but what happened?”. Everyone goes silent. “It’s okay if you don’t want to say, I shouldn’t have asked”.

 

Rosa shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. You guys deserve to know. Basically, at dinner, I decided to tell my family I’m bisexual, and they didn’t accept me. They all either thought it wasn’t real, or that it was a phase, or god knows what else, but nobody came after me when I left. I just… I thought they actually gave a damn. I was hoping they did, at least,” she says. They all look at her with sad eyes, and Gina pulls her in closer.

 

“Damn, I’m  _ so _ sorry Rosa. You didn’t deserve that. Nobody does,” Jake says. He sounds a mixture between angry and sad. “Nobody should have to go through that. After everything, I just thought things would be better.”

 

“I should have expected it, honestly. I guess if there’s something that came out of it, statistically I have at  _ least  _ one other gay family member, so at least someone feels a bit less alone. Hopefully,” Rosa says sadly.

 

Amy puts her hand on Rosa’s, in attempt to comfort her, and for once, Rosa doesn’t move away. She actually smiles, holding back some tears. God, if  _ anyone _ from school saw this side of Rosa, nobody would ever fear her.

 

Once the group has finished eating, they pay and make sure to tip very well for whoever is working on Christmas night. When they get out to the parking lot, they notice the time. It’s 9:30 PM, and most of them should be getting home soon. Home. That’s when Rosa starts to panic. What was she going to do? She couldn’t go back to her family, not tonight, anyways. She froze in her tracks, overcome with sheer panic.

 

“Rosa, what’s wrong?” Jake says, the first to notice her panic. Her throat tightens and hot hears spill out of her eyes. Her friends guide her over to a bench, where they sit her down. She feels stupid for being so freaked out, especially around her friends. None of them had seen her quite so upset since she thought her ex-boyfriend, Adrian, had been cheating on her. When she had sat down, Gina but an arm around her, and Jake put a hand on hers. Amy kept telling her that she was safe, and she was going to be okay. After about three minutes of crying and not being able to breathe, they were finally able to find out what was wrong.

 

“I’m sorry guys-” she started. “I’m being dumb, I just realized that I can’t go back home tonight. If they even want me there. I don’t know what I’m doing,” Rosa said between sobs. Gina made Rosa turn to face her.

 

“Listen, Rosie. You aren’t dumb. And I would never make you go back there after what happened, not tonight. You’re coming to my place,” Gina said, somehow both calming and assertive. Rosa just nodded her head. Her friend group had a group hug, and everyone was trying not to cry. Jake and Amy were both bound to fail, but hadn’t broken yet. They broke off and went to their respective cars, and drove home.

 

During the drive to Gina’s, Gina’s hand never left Rosa’s. They didn’t talk, but knowing each other was nearby was enough for the two of them. As they walked through Gina’s door, Gina’s mom was in the kitchen doing dishes. She turned around as the two girls walked in. 

 

“Rosa’s staying the night,” Gina says. Her mom gives Rosa a sad smile and grabs her hands. She must know the situation, Rosa thinks.

 

“If you  _ ever _ need somewhere to go, our door is always open. I promise,” says Gina’s mom. Rosa nods while trying to stop tears from spilling out.

 

“Thank you, Ms Linetti,” she says. Darlene smiles at Rosa and lets go of her hands, and within seconds, Rosa is gripping her girlfriends hands again.

 

“Do you girls want anything to eat?”, Gina’s mom asks.

 

“Nah, we’re just gonna head to bed. Thanks though,” Gina says. Her and Rosa head into Gina’s bedroom. “Do you want some pyjamas?”, Gina asks Rosa while digging through her dresser, knowing she’s not gonna sleep well in her jeans and blouse.

 

“Yes, please,” Rosa says. Her voice shakes, as if she’s about to break down again, and Gina notices immediately. She comes rushing over and wraps her arms around her crying girlfriend.

 

“Shh, you’re okay baby. You’re safe. Do you want to talk about it?”, Gina asks. She rocks back and forth slightly, doing anything to try calm Rosa down.

 

“Your mom- you’re so lucky. She cares. She actually gives a shit, I really just wish I-”, she says, getting out all she can before the next wave of sobs hit her. Gina just continues to rock her back and forth.

 

“I know, Rosie. But you’re gonna be okay. It’s gonna be fine. I promise,” Gina whispers. Rosa nods. After about three more minutes Rosa calms down. “Do you wanna get changed babe? I want you to feel comfortable,” Gina says. Rosa nods, and Gina grabs her some pyjamas. She brings her phone with her into the bathroom to put on her pyjamas. Her inbox is flooded.

 

**April (5):** rosa are you okay

   where are you

   i just yelled at the wholeass family but im freaking out where are u

   ok gina just told me ur safe

   ily stay safe if u wanna talk call me

 

**Amy (2):** I hope you’re okay, you deserve so much better.

              If you need anything, call me. Merry Christmas.

 

**Charles (9):** rosa are u ok

        nvm just found out ur with gina

                    have fun

                    tell me if u need to talk!

                    love you

                    you’re one of my best friends

                    goodnight rosa

                    sleep well

                    merry christmas

 

The most interesting texts though, were from Jake.

 

**Jake (4):** hey rosa, uh this is probably dumb but i was kinda inspired by you?

              im not gonna be brave and tell every1 i know but i guess i should at least tell you? 

              so here it goes,,, im bisexual? ive known 4 a while but never told anyone. idk.

              just realized ur prob sleeping, night. merry christmas.

 

She decides to respond to Jake now, she’ll text everyone else in the morning.

 

**Rosa:** that’s great jake, i’m really glad you trust me enough to tell me. thank you. get some damn sleep though, it’s late.

 

Jake doesn’t respond, so Rosa assumes he’s either ignoring her or half-comatose at this point. She realizes she’s been a while in the washroom, and quickly changes. When she gets back to Gina’s room, Gina is making the bed. She smiles at the sight of her dorky little girlfriend doing the exact things she’d make fun of Amy for, like smoothing out the sheets and fluffing pillows. Rosa walks up behind her and grabs her in a hug. Gina smiles as her taller girlfriend envelops her in a hug. “You’re cute,” Rosa says. Gina giggles and turns around.

 

“No you,” she laughs, reaching up to peck Rosa on the forehead. She can’t quite reach, and ends up doing some awkward mid-nose kiss that leaves them both laughing. The two of them collapse onto Gina’s bed in a fit of laughter, and then when that dies down, they’re left staring at each other.

 

“I think I love you,” Rosa blurts out. She immediately goes red, but Gina just smiles.

 

“You think? Because I know I love you. A lot,” she responds. Rosa wraps her arms around her girlfriend and closes her eyes. Her heart is fluttering, and Gina just pulls her in closer and kisses her forehead.

 

“Goodnight, baby. Merry Christmas,” she says. The two of them fall asleep wrapped around each other with the lights still on, and neither of them have a single place they would rather be right now. They’re safe, warm, and in love, and that’s more than enough for either one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if that was awful i love u all


	7. vii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long, i've been hella busy and way too happy to write this angsty shit lmao enjoy

**10:20 AM, Rosa’s Biology class**

Biology class is horrifyingly boring today, despite the fact that it’s usually one of Rosa’s favourite subjects, aside from drama and dance. She’s zoned out, listening to Mrs House talk about her daughter again. She’s snatched out of her daze when she hears her teacher talk about how her daughter hasn’t called her in weeks, which just twists the knife in her back from her argument with her family over the break. Suddenly, her hands start to shake and the statements from her family cloud over her mind again. The horrible things they said to her at Christmas, when they told her there was no such thing as bisexual, or the way her parents have treated her since she came back after staying two nights at Gina’s. When they said no matter what she calls herself, she’s going to marry a man, and that they don’t know who their daughter is anymore.

“Ms House, can I go to the bathroom?”, she asks. She needs to get away. Her teacher nods and she heads out the door, trying to have her hands shake as little as possible. Once she makes sure there’s nobody else in the washroom with her, she breaks. Tears flow down her face, trying to quiet her breathing. She feels so completely and utterly spent by the time she’s finished crying, and it’s nearly time for her class to end. She sends a quick text to Jake, asking him to bring her stuff out of the class. He responds with a thumbs up and an ‘r u okay?’, which she texts back a simple ‘im fine’. Whether that’s true or not isn’t even debatable, as she’s clearly not, but Jake doesn’t press. When the bell rings, she meets him near the class, grabbing her bag from him and heading toward the front doors.

“Are you not coming to lunch?”, he asks. The squad always sits together at lunch, so when she doesn’t walk towards the cafeteria, it’s questionable.

“I need to go for a walk. I promise, I’m fine, I just need some fresh air, okay?”, Rosa says. She’s too tired and worn out to deal with the noise and energy of the cafeteria. She just needs to be outside for now. Jake looks at her with a concerned look.

“Just… stay safe, okay? Text me if you need anything,” he says to her. Rosa nods, faking the tiniest smile, before heading out the door. She heads to her secret spot in the field, the one she found on a weekend where she needed some alone time in the ninth grade, after a fight with her family. It’s this little patch of soft grass, with violets and bluebells, under a weeping willow on a footpath leading into the schoolyard. She’s never been discovered there, not even by Gina, snoop of the century. It’s her favourite place to go and just be alone

She’s not in the mood to eat, but she sips her iced tea while she reads a book she had remembered to pack in her bag so she could read during her spare. The book is The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, which she needs to read for English, anyways. It’s the third time she’s read it, despite the fact that the rest of the class is only halfway through it. She tends to read a lot when she isn’t doing well. Gina tells her she’s ‘turning into an Amy’, but she does it with love. She secretly loves it when she gets to look at her girlfriend completely absorbed in a book, completely lost in whatever she’s reading. She finally looks at peace when she’s focused on something she enjoys.

Rosa reads all the way through her lunch and her spare, her timer going off 20 minutes before she has to be in Chemistry. She packs up her stuff, leaving her secret spot just as it was when she came to it, walking towards the school. She checks the texts on her phone as she walks back, and there’s a bunch, mostly from Gina asking if she’s alright. There’s a few from Amy (she doesn’t believe in sending one sentence texts, instead she sends a couple of paragraphs) and a bunch from Charles, who not only sends one sentence texts, but singular letter messages. She leaves them unopened, not wanting to explain her morning to her friends. She loves them, but sometimes it’s just easier to keep things private. Especially when you’re Rosa Diaz.

Amy shoots Rosa concerned glances all throughout Chemistry, but Rosa pretends not to notice, except when she makes direct eye contact with her, when Rosa pretends to be confused. Amy slyly pulls her phone out, and a few seconds later, Rosa’s phone vibrates from her pocket.

**Amy:** Are you doing alright? You weren’t at lunch and Gina said she couldn’t find you during your spare.

While Ms Weber has her back turned and is writing on the board, Rosa responds.

**Rosa:** im fine. i needed to be outside for a bit, but im good now

**Amy:** Okay, I was just worried. Need to make sure you’re okay <3

Rosa is slightly thrown by this, not exactly knowing what Amy means by ‘needing to make sure she’s okay’, but she chooses to ignore it and pretend to focus on whatever Ms Weber is saying about atomic structure. Usually she’d be paying attention, but she’s done with school for the day. Thank god there’s only fifteen minutes of class, and then she can go to play rehearsal. It’s the first rehearsal they’ve had since the one right before Christmas, and they all anticipate it’ll be rocky, but Rosa’s excited to get back into it. Finally, something she can look forward to every day. They have two months until performance comes along, so they’ve got to get ready, and fast. They have their first full runthrough on Friday evening, and after that it’s full run throughs every day until showtime. They have their first show on March 4, and they have a show every night that week.

Finally, the school day ends, and the stampede of high schoolers begins. Rosa and Amy dart through the science wing, trying to avoid the main foyer, instead going through the math wing and through to the back entrance of the auditorium. Only Director Holt, Gina, and a few freshman from the ensemble have arrived so far. Gina rushes over to Rosa and gently pulls her away from the rest of the group.

“Rosie, are you alright? You disappeared during lunch and during our spare. I was worried, you weren’t even answering my texts. Jake said you seemed upset when he last saw you in Bio, and I was just really worried about you, and dear god I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”, Gina quickly says. Rosa feels really awful for worrying her girlfriend like that, but she also wishes people would stop being so worried every time she didn’t check in for more than an hour. Ever since the Christmas incident, they’ve all been treating her like this fragile being, and she hates it.

“I’m fine, G, I promise. I just needed some air. Shit, I’m really sorry for worrying you, I promise I didn’t mean to. I just needed to get away for a bit,” Rosa says. She sees the anxiety in her girlfriends eyes, and feels awful, but the second she calls her ‘G’, she sees that melt away. Gina smiles and hugs Rosa, who suddenly feels so scared that people are going to stare at her, and judge her. Her parent’s words ring in her head again. Her heart starts to race, and she feels constricted. She loves Gina, but she needs her to let go of her now. Gina realizes Rosa isn’t reciprocating the affection, and let’s go. She stares at her feet for a moment before the entire cast is called to the stage by Director Holt. While Holt goes over the scenes that they’re going to rehearse today, Gina stands a bit further than she usually does from Rosa, as if they’re magnets with the wrong ends facing each other, forcing them apart. Nobody seems to notice except for Rosa. She always notices.

Sometimes Rosa wishes she could just stop noticing things.

**5:30 PM, On the way back from rehearsal, halfway between Gina and Rosa's house**

Rosa and Gina walk in silence. They aren’t angry at each other, but neither of them feel like talking at that moment. This isn’t the most uncommon occurrence between the two, but it definitely isn’t a frequent thing. The thing is, both want to talk, but neither know how to start the conversation, Then, unexpectedly, Gina breaks the ice.

“What’s going on with you today?”, she asks. Rosa is taken aback for a moment.

“What?”, she questions. She’s honestly not totally sure what answer the redhead is looking for, and to be perfectly candid, she isn’t quite sure whether or not she wants to give it to her.

“You’ve been acting weird all day! You disappeared for two hours, barely answered my calls or texts, and you won’t even talk to me! Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?”, Gina says. Rosa feels so guilty as she hears the anxiety in her girlfriends voice, but she can’t let on to her what’s happening. She can’t worry her even more.

“I’m fine, G,” she says. “I swear.”

Gina looks frustrated and concerned for her girlfriend. “No, you aren’t. You don’t have to pretend, Rosie.”

Rosa hates herself for it, but the easiest thing to do is be angry. She doesn’t even know why, it’s just always been that way for her. Nobody can see how much you’re hurting if you shout louder than all the thoughts in your head. Nobody can see you cry if you push them all away.

“I’m not a child, Gina!”, she half-shouts. “You don’t have to baby me, if I say I’m fine, I’m fucking fine, okay? I’m not fucking fragile, but you all treat me like I’m about to break at any moment, and I fucking hate it!”

Rosa immediately feels the guilt set in when she sees the hurt in her girlfriends blue-green eyes. But that hurt quickly hides itself as Gina shouts back. “I’m not the one who doesn’t tell her girlfriend anything! I’m not the one who doesn’t trust the girl she’s dating! I’m not the one who fucking hides everything from the people who care about her, no matter how many times they try to help her! You can’t do shit like this, where you hide everything from me. You have to trust me, or this isn’t going to work out”. Gina says this with an attempt at poison in her mouth, but really it’s fear. She’s afraid that something’s going to happen to Rosa that she can’t help her with. She’s afraid that Rosa’s going to try push her away and try get rid of her. She’s afraid to lose this beautiful girl she’s so damn in love with, and she can’t do shit about it.

But Rosa isn’t staying quiet anymore. “You want me to tell you shit, but you don’t get how hard that is for me! You don’t get what it’s like to have your parents not want one of the biggest parts of you. You don’t get what it’s like to be treated like a freak by everyone you know. You don’t fucking understand how hard it is to tell anyone anything, because it’s easy for you! You don’t have to be scared about opening up, because everyone likes you, and if they don’t, you couldn’t care less. It’s so fucking easy for you, you don’t get it!”, Rosa cries. She hates herself in this moment, she’s never hated herself more than she has right now, but she can’t stop. She can’t stop the pure anger and fear coursing through her blood right now. She can’t stop the way her heart and stomach drop as she sees the tears in Gina’s eyes, and how she doesn’t say anything back. She can’t help but think how she hates herself, she hates herself, she hates herself.

“I have to go. Text me when you’re ready to talk,” Gina says, as she walks in the opposite direction of Rosa, toward her own house. Tears fall from Rosa’s eyes as she runs home. The only thing stopping her intense urge to throw up and scream right now is the fact that she’s running, and when she gets home, she heads right upstairs, ignoring Lillian’s greeting. She’d ignore her parents too, if they cared enough to say anything to her.

The second she’s in her room, Rosa breaks down. She’s never felt so disgusting and awful than she does now. She hurt Gina, all because she’s so goddamn stupid and can’t talk about her feelings. She cries for hours, waiting to see if Gina texts or calls or anything, but she doesn’t. That’s when Rosa realizes it.

She might’ve just lost the one thing that makes any of this worth it.

 

She might’ve just lost Gina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry !!! i didn't want to hurt my babies but like,,, i had to :( dw, it'll get better <3  
> as always, comments and kudos are appreciated!!

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy, that was chapter one!!! not great, i know, but i'm trying !!! how often do y'all want me to update anyways??? i'm about a third of the way through chapter two, so it'll probably be done in a few days. remember to leave me some comments, love y'all!!! oh, and if you wanna find me online, my tumblr is anastasiaanarchy, and my insta is anastasia_anarchy.


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